crack a smile

It's that time of year again :) I am soooo excited for Thanksgiving, Christmas...etc. But before I start singing Christmas carols, I should celebrate Thanksgiving first, since it IS tomorrow...


As you age, you notice the things that count. You keep the people and memories that is close to heart and let go of those that aren't so dear. I guess I've been doing that, reliving the dearest memories. This year, I've been more thankful then I have the last few years. This blog is dedicated to the people I am thankful for. Here it goes :


To my family: I am thankful for my parents who work so hard to let me lead a comfortable life. At times I want to slap them for not listening to me, but after all, they are my parents. They love me to the max, helped me when I didn't know I needed help, and held my hand when I got the sniffles. They work hard all year, everyday, every hour and for that I can never be more thankful. Their love is the best thing they have given me. Then to my sisters, though I don't know if they read this (how stalker-ish, they're right next door!) I am SO thankful to have them as my sisters. They are crazy at times, but they keep me grounded and happy. They always listen and help me in any way possible. I am so thankful we have grown closer the last few years. Though I tell them they are my sisters and are not my friends, they certainly are. The best.

To my friends: they know who they are. From my closest friends to even the ones I haven't talked to in a while, I am thankful for them. My friends are incredible and always manage to make me smile, laugh, and feel like myself. The bestie always listen and gives great advice :) I am thankful for them for they have my back and are always there for me. Thanks guys. My church friends are awesome too. They keep my Saturdays fun and adventurous and because of them, every week I am able to escape from reality. We have great conversations and though it is only 3 hours every week, its something I look forward to during my week.

well, there's my thanks! hope everyone have a GREAT turkey day! Enjoy the food, family and friends. What are you thankful for?



Holidays were made to make memories. Memories are the only thing you got in the end, so why not make it a good one?


Gobble Gobble! :)

November 1st, 2008: My first Jason Mraz Concert.


This concert was amazing. This man is brilliant, with his witty, meaningful lyrics and soulful melodies. The show opened up with two artists, the first one a band in which I didn't catch their names, though they had beautiful British accents. The other was from Dublin, Ireland (how cool!) Lisa Hannigan, who you may have already been introduced to as she has worked with Damien Rice. Her lyrics are really something and her voice, songs, overally haunting. It was beautiful, yet haunting. She reminds me of a younger version of Tori Amos, but better. Here is a song by her called Lille.


After her performance, we waited for Jason. My sisters and I were quite sick but didn't mind. The waiting between Lisa Hannigan's performance and Jason Mraz allowed me some time to absorb my surroundings. Driving to the Greek Theatre was long, tiring, yet adventurous. The theatre is pretty much right in the middle of Griffth Park in LA. As I sat there looking at the cloudy, dark sky, the scenery reminded me of Disneyland with the cool air and the lited trees. While I took pictures, the lights dimmed down. Jason Mraz was going to be onstage any minute.

Music started with the melodies of "Make It Mine" from his newest album "We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things" ( Great title isn't it? :). In the background, where the projection screen is, a message comes up, stating : "Welcome. We Sing. We Dance. We Thank You for coming. Now Sing. Dance. And Steal the Show. Yours truly, Jason Mraz". Already I was swooned with the music and his message to his fans. Then words appeared again that made me smile : " Jason Mraz. Found of Hats, Cats, Hope, Love. Hugs...etc. " It ended up with "Fond of Los Angeles, CA". The crowd then goes wild as he finally starts singing with the words " Wake up everyone, how can you sleep at a time like this, unless the dreamer is the real you".

Jason Mraz then goes on to sing his hits of "Clockwatching" and a different verison of "The Remedy (I won't worry)" in which I looked up to the sky and thought this one is for you James. He also sings alot of other songs, but one that was really beautiful was " A Beautiful Mess". It wasn't until he sang it live that I fully understood the meaning of the song. Listen to it, it's amazing. Some comedic moments was during his "Live High" performance where he got the crowd wild with his Obama picture in the background and his message of voting NO on PROP 8. That Jason sure knows how to get the crowd wild. Oh, he also made us dance while performing "The Dynamo of Volition".


My favorite performance of the night was "I'm Yours" hands down. It also infused "3 little birds" by Bob Marley and was a beautiful performance with his scats and witty commands. The whole audience sang every lyrics, scatted every scat, and whistled every note. It was fun hearing everyone sing with him and once he started singing "3 little birds" there was a huge uplifting feeling . It was as if there was no care in the world, something that has made me smile, even days after the concert. Here is the performance and I hope you enjoy it. <3

He ended his concert with a duo with Lisa Hannigan with "Lucky" then sang "Butterfly" and "No Stopping Us" from his first record "Waiting For My Rocket To Come". Then with a final bow, he runs off, leaving his fans in awe of his beautiful voice, songs, and soul.
I really hope to see him again someday. Hopefully he'll keep writing songs that really reflects my life and my beliefs. I want to live life like the way he does through his lyrics. He makes it seem like love is the only thing needed in this world. Maybe it is.I want to see him in concert again. This concert was breath taking, mostly because Mraz's songs and performance. There was something about that night. Maybe it was because of his songs, or his performances, or his band, or his voice. Maybe it was because of the soulful tunes under a beautiful sky. Though it was rainy, his performances made it sunny, filled with love, laughter, and life.

too beautiful


ryan lochte <3

Michael Phelps <3


enough said ;)

Scream, shout
but no one hears
nothing comes out
tears form
but nothing falls on the cheeks
it all evaporates
questions with no answers
heartache but no remedy
lungs struggle to breathe
but no oxygen
want to float and fly away
but only has broken wings
just a simple person trying
to simplify her world
but nothing

i just wish you'd understand
i just wish i could understand

life eats the love out of me

At first, I wanted to write you a letter but then I remembered that I don’t have an address to send it to you. I always believed when writing out a letter, it is more heartfelt to print it out. It was great seeing you Pops, under those conditions. I’m glad I got to say “hi” and give you a hug and a slight squeeze in the hands. It made me realized how much I missed you.

I don’t really have a reason writing you this; I just wanted to show you my support and love. All your students are rooting and praying for you. You have no idea how much you have touched us. And for that, we can never thank you enough. However, I have always felt the luckiest because I’m your “daughter”! That is a privilege. Who knew, after all those years we’re still friends. I’m sorry I didn’t keep in contact until recently but it’s better now than never right? You have no idea what of a role model you are to me. Without you and St. Polycarp, I’d be lost. I’m not sure why I wanted to write you this, all I know is I wanted to tell you how I admire and respect you. Now, not to get all cheesy, I really do want to thank you. And don’t say “nonsense!” I was actually inspired by the John Mayer song “say what you need to say”. James, you’re always teaching us youngins’. Whether its about faith, love, or life, you always somehow manage to inspire us and teach us. Even now, you’re teaching us about the beautiful essence of life, family and God. You are brave; you are a solider and a fighter. You are incredibly strong and I hope you know that.

I’m really glad I came to St. Polycarp; I was originally from St. Columbian and didn’t want to leave. I’m really glad I was placed in your class. I am especially glad I was placed in your retreat family. (Sweet 16 DIS 05’!) :]] you are a good man, incredible and loving. So James, keep on fighting, loving, and living. I just wanted to say thanks. No need to reply. I really hope to see you again and maybe we’ll get a chance to have a conversation. Keep on smiling youuu wonderful father! I love youuu! hehe

Your daughter

Jen <3

An email I sent to James a couple of months ago. Maybe earlier. Maybe later. James, wherever you are, thank you. Rest in peace James. I love you and see you later.

LEJaMeS N (11:46:39 PM): we'll talk again soon i bet

hmm one sweet day.

The last few days there has been a lot of reminiscing. Graduations, family gathering, hang out with friends, and planning. I find it hard to believe that I have just finished my first year in college, that a year ago I graduated and was ready for some summer adventure. Summer's here again and I feel completely different. As I attended my cousin's and friends' graduations it occurred to me that I am growing up, at fast speed. I cannot wait anymore and I cannot lag anymore, its time for me to well, be an adult.

so many things have happened over the year. Breakups, distance, bad news, good news- bittersweet memories. I seriously think my life is too similar to movies out there. You know the ones about growing up and thinking about the past?

Anyways I love the beach and I did pretty well this quarter so i'm uber happy! Now I just need a job. :[ I got no experience, where would I ever be hired? hahah oh goodness.



<- this is the reason why ( or at least one of the reasons why) I cannot leave California.

I can't imagine. i can't believe how life change so fast. everything seems so different, so colorless and bland. i feel like my life has been rearranged cause nothing seems like its in the right place. My house doesn't seem like my home. i kind of miss my old house of 13 years. so much memories.


i miss my family and friends

sometimes, the love you seek is staring right back at you. all it takes is for you to open your eyes and see.


on another note, finals is here! so wish me luck :)